Justice Watch Discussion Board ""Listening"" [ Main ] [ Post New Thread ] [ Help ] [ Search ] Table of Contents ................................................................... "Listening", Msracoon, 19:44:15, 5/21/2000 iris, maundy, 01:10:24, 5/22/2000, (#1) Msracoon and maundy, momo, 06:04:46, 5/22/2000, (#2) Inside the mind . . ., Anton, 07:21:33, 5/22/2000, (#3) Anton,, gaiabetsy, 07:56:00, 5/22/2000, (#4) I'm listening to their cries..., Charley, 08:07:59, 5/22/2000, (#5) gaiabetsy, Anton, 08:12:13, 5/22/2000, (#6) We can never imagine,, Ev, 08:12:46, 5/22/2000, (#7) ................................................................... ""Listening"" Posted by Msracoon on 19:44:15 5/21/2000 Still the CHILDREN cry, from their beds where their daddies did something dirty and bad to them in the middle of the night... from their schoolrooms where grownups dressed in costumes did things to them they'll never tell anybody - - not even Mommy and Daddy... from a yucky room where there was no place to hide, and they had to take off all their clothes for relatives -- maybe even strangers -- who took naked pictures of them. "WILL SOMEONE LISTEN TO ME?" Still the TEENAGERS cry, from the bus stations where they arrived looking for the good life... from the street corners of skid row or the red light district where they hang out... from the cold, cement basement floors of condemned buildings where they tried to get a couple of hours of sleep at night... from the dingy, fleabag hotel rooms where they prostituted their bodies to earn a few dollars. "WILL SOMEONE LISTEN TO ME?" Still the ADULTS cry, from their therapist's office as they begin to painfully put bits and pieces of memories together about repressed childhood abuses... from only God knows where as they agonize over ritualistic acts of insanely demonic evils that they either witnessed or were forced to take a part in. STILL THEY CRY, "WILL SOMEONE LISTEN TO ME?" (pp.235-236, Satan's Underground, The Extraordinary Story of One Woman's Escape, Lauren Stratford, Harvest House Publishers, 1988, Eugene, Oregon.) [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 1. "iris" Posted by maundy on 01:10:24 5/22/2000 and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies when everything feels like the movies yeah you bleed just to know you're alive and i don't want the world to see me cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am "iris", googoo dolls, city of angels soundtrack [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 2. "Msracoon and maundy" Posted by momo on 06:04:46 5/22/2000 The excerpt from the book you posted just goes to show that abuse to little children is a battle for them for the rest of their lives. Scars and wounds that have to be healed. Children were meant to have loving parents that raise them in the way God would have them be. Their lives are meant to be good and fun and liveable. Not where they constantly have to suffer through tortuous memories of horrific abuse. God has a judgement day for those who treated His little ones terribly. And that day my friend is coming. Maundy I love the GooGoo Dolls. They are my absolute favorite group right now. The singer drives me wild. I never thought someone that looks like him would. All their songs have such deep meaning. [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 3. "Inside the mind . . ." Posted by Anton on 07:21:33 5/22/2000 This is a great thread. Msracoon, that excerpt sounds so familiar. It is a universal truth. As is the "iris" excerpt, maundy. Beautiful. Here is a poem I wrote as a young man while trying to sort out the pain of my own childhood abuse. Now that I can think clearly, I read it and realize it can describe both the abuser and the abused, which is a bit frightening. I've got a face that nobody sees, a person inside that no one can know. My troubles have come and my troubles have gone but I never go wild and I never go cold. I just stay cool and hide myself away. It's a fantasy world where everything's right, where I am the greatest damned person around. I sink down inside this invisible me and block off the world so I don't hear a sound. I just stay cool and hide myself away. It's a place where nobody ever comes in, where I can be free to think about life. They poke at my brain and try to see me but I'm hidden away, away from their knife. I just stay cool and hide myself away. Nobody else can figure me out; it's too complicated, too nervy to try. You can work me and work me forever and ever but before I come out I promise I will die. I just stay cool and hide myself away. [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 4. "Anton," Posted by gaiabetsy on 07:56:00 5/22/2000 sorry you suffered abuse too. That poem could still describe me more than I like or wish. I just keep trudging on and keep my mind as open as I can let it be. Sometimes I suffer more about the abuse and yet there are times I hardly ever think about it. It's weird how those memories can still attack me when I least expect them to. I still have those PTSD moments when "a look" or "a smell" or maybe even "a stranger's voice" causes me to close up and head underground. Does that ever happen to you? [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 5. "I'm listening to their cries..." Posted by Charley on 08:07:59 5/22/2000 As a early childhood educator, I have been witness to the abuse in our society and our inability to stop it. Seems there is more justice for the criminal then the victim! Judgement day is coming! Msraccoon, that was beautiful! For Anton and all the others out there who continue to fight for memories of past abuse to stop, my heart aches for you! You are all strong people or you wouldn't be able to talk now about it. God Bless and take care. [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 6. "gaiabetsy" Posted by Anton on 08:12:13 5/22/2000 Absolutely, this happens to me frequently. I find that I can't be around some people, even people I've just met but who somehow trigger those memories. The hardest part for me has always been the doubt -- did that really happen? But then I listen to my body and my heart and I know it did happen. I wrote that poem some 20 years ago. I'm much more open now but the biggest changes have only come in the past few years, with a lot of painful self-work. I also found that I can share small parts of my experiences with particular people, which helps a great deal but can be overwhelming to others. I've always been afraid to say anything, because saying even a tiny part would crack the door open and it would all rush out. Now I've learned that I can share small parts and still not overwhelm others. That's frustrating and leaves people suspicious, confused and disturbed. What I know, they don't want to know. I don't blame them but I often feel very lonely because of that. Anyway, I'm sorry you have such troubles, too. There is health beyond the pain. The hardest part, for me, is accepting the pain. When I accept the pain, I can then see the health and embrace that. Anton [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ] 7. "We can never imagine," Posted by Ev on 08:14:33 5/22/2000 NOTE: This message was last edited 08:14:33, 5/22/2000 those of us who had the "normal" happy childhoods, what you who were used in this most horrible fashion by sick adults endure every day of your life. That's why I feel there should be NO statute of limitations on child abuse, because it is truly the killing of a childhood. Yes, I've listened to the verbal and mental abuse in the house next door ~ yes, I have called the authorities about it, knowing that the single mother of three would know exactly who did the calling. The hair on my arms stood up as Mr. Ev and I raced to the phone. He said, "if you can't call, then I will." I never knew if anyone investigated, so the next time I called the police and I heard the mother sobbing as the policewoman questioned her. I'm not sorry. I AM sorry that I didn't tell the oldest girl (8 or 9 then) that I would always be here for her, to come to me if she ever wanted someone to talk to, but I knew that she would have reported that to her mother, and I chickened out. I think about my inaction more often that I like to entertain. As far as I know there wasn't physical or sexual abuse, but those horrible words must have cut those children to the bone over and over again. Maybe they forgot it with time, but I haven't. Bless you both. Anton, have you ever dumped it all out to a therapist? [ REMOVE ] [ ALERT ] [ EDIT ] [ REPLY ] [ REPLY WITH QUOTE ] [ TOP ] [ MAIN ]